Felix runs restorative justice workshops in communities around Rwanda and last week he journeyed to Ntarama in the district of Bugesera to conduct a three day workshop.Ntarama is an area renowned for some of the most brutal killings of the 1994 Rwandan genocide. Over 5000 Tutsis, including many women and children fled for shelter in the local church, but they did not find sanctuary. Instead they died huddling together whilst Hutu militias threw grenades into the crowd and then finished survivors off with machetes and rifles.
Despite the pouring rain over 40 participants showed up from many different districts to take part in this workshop which is vital to maintaining peaceful and healthy relationships between members of different communities.The aim of the workshop was to teach the participants how to become conflict mediators in their own communities and whilst it is impossible to describe in detail the amount of information covered in this comprehensive three day course, below I will highlight what I took to be the most important aspects and the bible teachings Felix used to make them accessible to the participants.
Felix teaching
WHAT IS RECONCILIATION?
First and foremost...reconciliation is a process not an event, there is no magic formula. We cannot expect it to happen overnight, or in one meeting. Relationships must be constantly worked on. Reconciliation is the building of a friendship and replacing hatred with love. Building a friendship in even the best of circumstances takes time, and building a friendship between two people who have previously hated each other will take much longer.
Furthermore, a reconciled relationship must be built according to the words of John Chapter 3, Verse 18 “Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth.” It is through actions that we build true and lasting relationships.
Felix told the participants that their motto should be ‘Gukunda, Ubushuti, and Amahoro’ or ‘Love, Friendship and Peace’...the first to two together leading to the accomplishment of the latter.
Brainstorming the meaning of reconciliation
WHY SHOULD IT BE PURSUED?
Reconciliation is not only about achieving peace between two parties. Whilst this is of course important in itself what is even more important is maintaining peace in the general community by resolving the smaller conflicts that arise. First Corinthians Chapter 10, Verse 31 tells us “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” As Christians we have a duty to pursue reconciliation and peaceful relations not just for our own glory but for the glory of God.
The perfect student!
HOW IT SHOULD BE PURSUED...
Firstly, in order to be successful in reconciling two parties you should not enter as a judge, you must learn to be humble and listen as another human being, a human being that has sinned just like others. Matthew Chapter 7, Verse 5 tells us ‘Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye.’ So before you can act as a conflict mediator, Felix tells participants that they must address their own shortcomings, that they must not be righteous, but be understanding. We are all the same.
Secondly, you must build a relationship of trust between yourself, the mediator, and the parties involved in the conflict. This will take time and nurturing, you must speak to each party separately about how they are feeling and encourage them to be open and candid with their emotions. That way, when they speak to one another they will hopefully maintain this openness and the trust you have built with both parties will allow you to be seen as a neutral mediator.
Group discussion
WHEN PROBLEMS ARISE...
Reconciliation is by no means easy. Frustration, fear, and hatred stand in the way of open discussion and co-operation. People will avoid facing the truth as often it is simply too painful. Felix asked one of the participants to give an example. A smartly dressed woman stood up to address us and told us how she had been sexually violated and injured by a man in her village during the genocide. He had left her for dead, presuming she would not survive the terrible injuries he had inflicted on her private parts using numerous weapons. However, not only did she survive, but somehow she found it in her heart to forgive this man. She told us that she needed to forgive to move on with her own life, she understood that fostering resentment and hate was only going to hold her back. She thought that making this brave decision would mark a new beginning for her. The problem arose however when the man in question would not accept her forgiveness, he could not believe that anyone could truly forgive such atrocities. So now she stands in no-mans land, wanting desperately to forgive and move on with her life, yet unable to because of the very man who inflicted so much physical and emotional pain on her to begin with.
A very brave lady willing to forgive the man that tortured her
Felix encouraged the woman to try, as hard and as unfair as it might seem, to view the situation from the man’s perspective. He asked an ex-prisoner to stand up and explain the kind of feelings that genocide perpetrators experience when confronted by their victims. The ex-prisoner described a sense of overwhelming shame, of their own trauma remembering the pain they had inflicted, and the killing that went on all around them. He said that often perpetrators believe the sins they have committed to be beyond comprehension, and therefore beyond forgiveness. He went on to say that the only way that he overcame this was to help the victims in day to day life, helping to build their house, farm their land, carry their water and so on. Felix asked her and members of her community to try this approach with the man who violated her. Time is a great healer, and practical reconciliation we are told time and time again by perpetrators and survivors is the only way to repair shattered relationships.
It was a great experience to be able to watch restorative justice in action, and whilst some of the testimonies were truly harrowing it was incredibly moving to hear that these people wanted to move on with their lives and were prepared to offer true forgiveness. The participants of these workshops are vital to the future of Rwanda and their commitment to becoming conflict mediators in their own communities is inspirational. I hope to have shared a little of what I learned about reconciliation one rainy day in Ntarama.
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